How I nearly asked out my dream date…
Sort of started out like a weird mix youtube vid between steven universe and homestuck (great way to start the dream right?) and I woke up in the dream at a questionable hotel with my dad. We were waiting for my mom to come back from whatever it is and we were getting hungry. There were some sandwiches on the table and I picked up one and started to eat it but I went BLECH because it tasted disgusting. I was about to toss it when my dad says he could hear my mom coming to the door. For some reason I decided to scare my mom when she comes in so I wait by the door. Once it opens I yell out ‘HI MOM!’, it wasn’t my mom but two big guy in coats, masks, and black knives.
Triggers in my head 'OH SHIT’ and I back away. These two big guys are trying to rob us. My dad tries to calm them down, I hold up my hands with the sandwich at the big guy begging to not hurt me. All of a sudden I jut the sandwich over his knife and leap grab onto his neck and somehow managed to grapple him to the ground. He’s on his stomach, I’m on his back holding his arms that are in an X form. Other dude tries to help but my dad pulls out something (can’t remember what) that makes the other guy back off and put his knife down.
I start talking to the guy I’m holding down
“Won’t lie, surprised you fell for that”
“Yeah I’m surprised myself”
The guy I’m holding down tells the other guy to give him something. Turns out it’s a match and he sticks it in his mouth. He leans over to the table we’re next to and manages to light it.
“Whoa dude that’s really cool! Think you can teach me how you do that?”
“Yeah sure once you let me go”
He drop the match his foot ( I’m only realizing now he was trying to set my foot on fire but I didn’t react in the dream and I believed he was trying to set himself on fire. To which I’m just, that’s a weird thing to do) I tell my dad to get some water to put it out and he does. The guy I’m holding down groans but once my dad backs away into another room I realize 'where did the other guy go?’
Turns out he snuck out and came back with a sledgehammer. I yell out to me dad “HE’S GOT A SLEDGE! HE’S GOT A SLEDGE!” Almost immediately something whacks the other dude in the head. Turns out my dad has a mallet hidden and hits the guy again to knock him out.I was getting all cheery when I thought “Dad where did you get the mallet from?”
That’s when self awareness kicks in, when that happens I start to wake up from the dream.
However dreamself was all “SHIT SHIT WAIT NO!”
I look at the guy I’m still holding down
“TELL ME YOUR NAME AND ASK ME OUT!”
“WHAT?!”
“I THINK YOU’RE PRETTY COOL GUY, I’M IMPRESSED THAT YOU DIDN’T HEADBUTT ME THIS WHOLE TIME I HELD YOU DOWN, I THINK IT CAN WORK JUST TELL ME YOUR NA-”
and then I’m staring at my ceiling and going
“………………………………….noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo……………I was so clooooooooooooooooooose”
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If anything I’m impressed I can remember this much right now
